Round Two

A strange and wonderful year for we Rydman's it continues to be. Daughter Kaycie married Ben Hajduk last month, we moved far away to Alaska, Deb took a job running Career Services at the University of Alaska Southeast, I'm making friends and planting a church, and now we're prepping for wedding number two. Son Steve will be marrying his true love, Sarah Smits on July 21.

I'm learning that marrying off your daughter is different than marrying off your son. With the daughter the thought is, "Will this guy handle his role well? Will he always remember how precious she is?" With the son, it's more like, "Is he ready? Have I prepared him well enough? Will this guy handle his role well?" With the daughter's wedding it was, "Do I need to apologize to anyone involved in the wedding?" With the son it might be, "Do I need to apologize to my future daughter-in-law?" (I'm fairly certain I will not need to come with a quiver full of apologies. Steve is a great guy and will make a great husband!)

For my daughter's wedding ceremony I knew I had a specific and vital role: walk my little girl down the aisle, make sure everyone enjoyed the reception...and write checks. A lot of checks. For my son's wedding ceremony I sense my role will be not to block the camera's view of my wife. 


A son becoming a married man somehow and inevitably reflects on his father. Being increasingly mindful of my own shortcomings, my own misdirected motivations and my own innate selfishness as a husband I know that my son will experience similar self-awareness through his own fails over time. 


But this is true; marriage is the closest earth-side view we have into the heart of God. Marriage is where grace can be and must be most tangibly evident, most lived out. Marriage is the venue in which God's covenant love for His own children is most immediately exemplified. Marriage is the vehicle by which God insures (forces) my ongoing sanctification. It is primarily through my marriage that God refines me.


And this is also true; I married UP, way up, way out of my league. My wife is a living, breathing repository of gracious responses and incredible patience. And Steve knows the same is waiting for him in Sarah. May he never forget this reality. And may this reality point him and all who witness their marriage vows to our God Who loves us irrespective of what we think our merit to be, in spite of our merit, and solely out of His great grace.


Someone once said, "Marriage is like handcuffs." If that's true, then tighten mine up. My son already agrees.